Not Having Kids.Thanks for Asking
I am not one of those, “I am woman, hear me roar” kind of gals. It’s not that the sentiment isn’t there, I’m just a little lackadaisical when it comes to getting the message out. Try as I might I am pretty much a go-with-the-flow kind of person. Until today, that is. Today I feel like going on a rant, and for that, I apologize in advance. I hope I don’t go too far off the deep end.
Now let’s get started, shall we?
Let me say, with absolute firmness, I have no intention of having children. Those little buggers annoy me to no end. Even the cutest of kids get snotty noses, become cranky beyond belief when they’re tired, refuse to eat certain foods and need constant attention. Why would I stretch my kooch beyond recognition just to have all those problems? Honestly, I can get the same responsibilities simply by allowing my boyfriend to move in, and I don’t have to commit to the experience for eighteen years, if I don’t want to.
Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate on people who have or plan to have kids. It’s simply not my bag. I mean, it’s not like I’m at a dinner party and I say to the pregnant woman beside me, “What happens if you change your mind when it’s too late? Your clock is ticking, you know.”
It seems like that pregnant woman has no issues saying the same thing to me about my decision not have kids. In fact, having made up my mind on this particular matter when I was a just a kid, myself (yes, I’ve known for that long), I have had a lot of experience with these conversations. First there are the little talks I have to have with boyfriends who have the potential of becoming long term. They usually start off with me saying something along the lines of, “I like you a lot, and I’m not sure if this is going anywhere but just in case it is, I feel you should know now that I don’t plan on having kids.”
To which the reply is usually, “Ever?” and I respond with “Ever.”
Then there are the public conversations that are usually instigated by people sticking their noses where they don’t belong. These conversations start two ways. This first is someone asking my boyfriend something along the lines of, “When are you two going to put a bun in the oven?” When he responds negatively they look at me with pity in their eyes. One person actually said to me, “Oh you poor thing.” If I try to tell them this is a unanimous decision between us, they look at me like, you keep telling yourself that, honey.
The second way the conversation starts is with someone asking me when we plan to put a bun in the oven. When I politely and firmly say, “never,” the response is ALWAYS, “Oh, you’ll change your mind.” This statement is accompanied with a smug, knowing smile. On occasion, as it was with the pregnant lady mentioned above, this is followed with some variation of, “let’s just hope you don’t change your mind too late. Your clock is ticking, you know.”
Now I ask you, why is it unfathomable for some people that a woman in her early thirties, or any age for that matter, would choose not to have children? And why do those same people accept my boyfriend’s decision to not have children as an unequivocal fact? I am asking you, faithful readers, because the pregnant lady didn’t have an answer for me.