So Your Son’s a Princess. Happy Halloween.
One of my friends, a single dad, called me the other day in a panic over his son’s choice of Halloween Costume. Apparently, when he asked the kid what he wanted to be for Halloween, he responded with, “A Princess.” In fact, the little boy was adamant that that is what he wanted to be. For reasons that are still unclear to me (um, I have exactly zero children and my only experience with the little buggers is when I’m stuck at a breeder’s and their spawn won’t stop following me around. I swear, kids are like cats. They hone in on the person whom they make the most uncomfortable and spend as much time as they can pretending to be best friends with said person) , my friend sought my advice.
Him: D.C., I have a problem.
Me: What’s up?
Him: My son wants to be a princess for Halloween.
Him: What do I do? I can’t talk him out of it.
Me: Um, dress him up as a princess.
Him: He want’s to go to SCHOOL dressed as a princess. He’ll get beat up.
Me: Oh come on. How much damage can a bunch of first graders really do? Oh wait. Are you afraid they’ll tear his dress and he won’t be able to wear it again?
Him: This isn’t funny. They might scar him for life.
Me: If you were worried about mental scarring, you shouldn’t have named him Tristan. What is it with parents and that name? I just don’t get the appeal.
Him: Fine. He wants to go as a princess, he goes as a princess.
Me: Sounds like a plan. Send me a pic.
So little Tristan dressed as a princess, complete with lavender hair, a tiara, a wand and princess shoes. Adorable! And my friend called me again today.
Him: I just dropped Tristan at school.
Him: He was one of three boys dressed as princesses.
Me: Man, your kid’s school is gay. I hope they have a killer drama department.
Him: Yeah well, I was just calling to say everything worked out. No one laughed at him.
Me: Was he pissed about all of the other princesses?
Him: Naw, I told him not to worry, he was the fairest of them all. He agreed.
Me: Confident little bugger, isn’t he?
Him: I guessed he has to be to wear a girl’s costume.
Me: And you made such a big deal out of it. Speaking of which, I have the perfect idea for a Halloween costume for you. It will totally go with your son’s.
Him: I’m going to regret this but, what’s that?
Me: A drama queen. Seriously.